December Ramblings

So it appears that I have deleted all of my old posts again. I tend to do that from time to time. It's kinda like reading an old journal, you look back on it later and wonder why you thought things were so bad when in reality you were probably being over dramatic. Just me? I remember about a year and a half ago (possibly longer, I really lose track) I went to get acupuncture for the first time. At the time I was really stressed about everything and couldn't handle it very well. I had such extreme pain in my shoulders that I was constantly on pain killers and had to struggle to function at work everyday. Then a year later I went in for acupuncture again, this time for my knee. In that year my entire life had been turned upside down. My uncle had passed away and my mom moved in with my Grandma. By that point I think they also realized that my Grandma wasn't doing so well, they just didn't let us know. Honestly, up until shortly after her 90th birthday we all thought she would outlive us all. When I went in for my second accupuncture appointment I was left wondering what possibly could have caused me that much stress the previous year. To this day I really couldn't tell you. If you haven't already realized, I jump from one topic to another pretty often.

December 4th marked 7 months since my Grandma passed away. It honestly still feels surreal that she isn't here. I miss her constantly. She was the epitome of what a Grandma should be. This Christmas is going to be the strangest Christmas of my entire life. I came to the realization a little while ago that the only reason we all got together at Christmas was my Grandma because this year everyone is spread out. We are still making the effort to see each other at some point during the holidays because family is extremely important. That is what Christmas is all about.

The last 3 months or so have been extremely long and painful. I think it was the beginning of September when I somehow managed to pinch my sciatic nerve. For those of you that don't know what/where that is: It is the longest and widest single nerve in the human body. It begins in the lower back and runs through the butt and down the leg. Needless to say, it has been a bitch and half! When this first happened I went for acupuncture, massage and all sorts of eastern medicine type stuff...It honestly did help but only to a certain degree. The pain originally started in my back, then my back got better & the pain spread to my butt. After many a butt massage (I definitely recommend it, just in general) without any change I decided that continuing to go to for treatments there was a pointless waste of money. Shortly after I started going to the Chiropractor, in the last month and a half I feel like I have definitely improved =)

Yesterday I was okayed to start working & exercising again. That is pretty exciting. I have definitely been going a bit stir-crazy. Working again will definitely be nice. My life has funny timing, I gave my notice at work because it was honestly just time. I loved the people that I worked with but retail is just not for me. I think it was a week or less after I gave my notice that I pinched the nerve in my back and couldn't even finish my 6 weeks. I gave 6 weeks for a few reasons, because I wanted to be able to find a different/better job and also because I was a key holder and I wanted them to have enough time to find someone else to take my place before I was gone. It definitely didn't turn out that way and I really hate the way that things ended but at least I am out now. Everything happens for a reason.

I am making a list of new years resolutions, so far it goes a little something like this:
- Get back on the crazy yet effective diet! (I was seriously 27 pounds down!!!) The diet is pretty simple actually, simple in theory anyway. No sugar (I have a sugar allergy and a HUGE sweet tooth, you want what you can't have I suppose), no fast food, no junk food. I was doing very well until Halloween...then we had a party at my house and it was "Hello food, meet my mouth" Haha. I haven't gone back to exactly as bad as I was before but I was SO strict before. I need to find that willpower!
- Write in my blog often & quit deleting older posts!
- Start dating again...I know that with the whole diet/weight loss thing will help with the confidence thing. I am pretty outgoing, but also shy at times. Yeah, I don't know what the problem is...
- GO TO AS MANY CONCERTS AS POSSIBLE! One of my favorite things is going to live shows, music is important as has gotten me through many tough situations.
- GET A KICKASS JOB! This will also help with the concert thing because I currently can't afford to go to shows, being unemployed...

Anyway...I swear there was more but it is time to end this thing! Once you get me going I apparently talk forever and a day! Until next time...

PS: Is anyone else as addicted to twitter as I am? @jujuniper

"But now I'm just fabulous, you are fabulous. We're so fucking fabulous, we don't even know it"